Last night was a strange one.

I threw down all guard and went all in.

I whined, I whinged, I foraged for sympathy, love, some srot of evident feeling to see, to find out if he still loved me…or what?

I don’t really know.

It shamed me slightly, to find this needy, crying girl, beneath this strong exoskeleton, someone who actually needs someone to talk to but perhaps, i need to relook at the ways i want to see myself. Re-define the word feminist: someone who’s willing to uncover and understand who she really is despite feeling like its against AGAINST (yes, 2 against-es)  stereotype. See, i think feminists fight hand & tooth to show that they don’t need anyone or anything, that they’re strong, brave, independent women (although i don’t doubt many of them naturally are). Some of us less so. But those of us who do, we eschew crying and all public displays of ‘weaknesses’. We’re proud and we stand proud as we fight for equality and to be on par socially and economically with men. And I suppose emulate men in certain respects as well to show we are and can be as good as them – contained emotions, as well, maybe? – but sometimes, i think in our haste and fight to do so, we forget who we individually are and how we really feel. Perhaps now its time for some of us to re-define our definition of feminism; instead of bra-burning fighters, to women who aren’t afraid to be themselves, feel & deal.